In the beginning of this year, I was going through a sophomore crisis, trying to decide what I wanted to declare as my major. The pandemic made me realize there is nothing that I value more than having the certainty of something in life, and during these times, this is not always the case. I have realized that nothing will ever be certain, so I cannot rely on that. While going through this tough time, I was not doing too well in classes, constantly debating whether I wanted to continue on the pre-med path or not. I called my sister, and she asked me, “What do you ACTUALLY want to do?” I haven’t ever really thought about what I wanted to do, only what I could do, and this made me realize that it was important to do just that. The pre-med track offers me a level of certainty, as I take these classes, do these extracurriculars, apply to med school, eventually become a doctor, and work in the same place. My life is mapped out for me. With other fields, there is so much less certainty in how my life will turn out.
My college advisor asked me what I do to relax, and this made me realize that I needed to make a change this semester. I must be more intentional in spending time just sitting there, doing nothing. I have learned to say no, which at times, takes everything, but I realized that this is okay.